la vita è casuale

A Devoted Mom's Tale

2010-11-30T10:30:00.001-07:00

Advice from a 2-yr-old
Sometimes, Tamsin's smarter than we give her credit for. She's learned to apply the principles of what is or is not OK to various aspects of her life.

[In reference to Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street] We don't pull trunks.
We don't pull the horse's tail or he will be sad.
We don't hit penguins.
We don't hit cars.

It's My Party
For Christmas last year, we gave Tamsin a tent to play in in her room. Lately, she's been wanting to sleep in it most of the time. Kenji made a little bed in there with a small pillow and a bunch of stuffed animals, so it's a nice comfortable place for her to sleep. One night, about 20 minutes after we'd put her down to sleep, she came out of her room saying she needed to sleep in her bed because her friends (also known as stuffed animals) were having a party in the tent. So Kenji put her down in her bed and she went right to sleep.

Grammar Snob, Party of One
One day as I was watching videos on YouTube, Tamsin joined me on the couch. When the video was over, she said "Oh my *)^%." Not sure how to respond to this new word usage, I just shook my head and said, "No." Tipping her head in confusion, she asked, "Is it Holy *)^%?" Yeah, I'm raising her right - she'll talk like a sailor, but it will be grammatically correct.

Story From the Lost Period
We turned Tamsin's carseat around to forward-facing about 6 months ago - in May or June. Whenever we'd drive somewhere, she'd start asking me "Are those big rocks?" I had no idea what she was talking about until one day she asked at a stoplight so I was able to see where she was pointing. Straight at the Wasatch Mountains. I just answered, "Yes, those look like big rocks. They're called mountains."

Ursula and Ludovica?
When we first found out the twins were girls, we asked Tamsin for naming advice. She very quickly named them "Bear" and "Ludo." We do not know the origins of these names, but they stuck. In the intervening months, we've been unable to agree on names and have gone back to the drawing board on several occasions. At this point, with less than 3 weeks to go, we're thinking Tamsin may have been on to something and we'll just have to name them Bear and Ludo.

Six Months of Updates

2010-10-15T23:32:00.000-06:00

Yeah, a lot has happened in the past few months....

Dirty Hippies Everywhere
When we were visiting Kenji's sister in August, we took Tamsin into Berkeley. We told her we were going to look at dirty hippies. So as we're walking down the street, Tamsin pointed to people as they passed and asked us, "Is that a dirty hippie? Is that a dirty hippie?"

There's Nothing Like Toddler Praise
Tamsin likes to praise us when we do something. Anything, really. If she asks what color something is, once we tell her she says, "That's right. Good job." Lately, she's been asking me where we're going when I buckle her into her carseat. So, I tell her library, park, Grandma's house, the store. When we get there she always happily and excitedly says, "You found it! Good job!"

Excuses Excuses
So, I haven't updated in several months. There is a reason for this. In April, we unexpectedly found out we were expecting a baby. In June, we found we were actually expecting two babies. Preparing for twins and pregnancy has been, well, interesting. And tiring. And provides a ready-made excuse for not updating my blog.

In an interesting twist, the name "Tamsin" means twin. Were we subconsciously channeling the future when we picked that name?

Where's the mommy love?
A few weeks ago, Kenji asked Tamsin what she loved more - her mommy or her binkie. She promptly, and matter-of-factly, replied "My binkie." More recently, she has refused to give me good night or good bye hugs and kisses. She will only give them to the babies in my belly. I feel so second-rate.

It's About Time...

2010-03-13T08:21:00.001-07:00

More Tamsinisms
* Macaroni & Cheese: Monkey cheese
* Meatloaf: Buffalo

Everybody's Got an Appetite
The other night Tamsin was sitting on my lap, being a little silly. She kept asking "Are you hungry, Mommy?" Then she turned to Kenji, "Are you hungry, Daddy?" Back and forth and back and forth, almost to the point of annoyance. Then she turned to the bookcase, "Are you hungry, Harry Potter?"

I Just Can't Remember Anything
Tamsin likes to tell us she forgot. We tell her it's time to put on shoes to go somewhere, "Oh, I forgot." Tell her a toy is downstairs, "Oh, I forgot." Tell her she's stinky and needs a clean diaper, "Oh, I forgot."

Uncle Daddy
I've been watching my sister's kids a lot lately. As a result, Tamsin has started calling us "Uncle Kenji" and "Aunt Rachie." It's so funny to hear her walking around asking, "Uncle Kenji, Where are you?"

1 or 5 - There's no Difference
I was watching my sister's kids yesterday and was being pretty strict with them because Tamsin has been sick and I wanted her to get some good, undisturbed rest. Anyway, since they were being so good, I gave them each a marshmallow for lunch. After he had finished, my 5-year-old nephew came upstairs to tell me he was still hungry. "Aunt Rachie, can I have another marshmallow? Or 5?"

My New Project

2010-03-01T15:03:00.002-07:00

Shortly after Kenji gave me my awesome camera for our anniversary last year, I heard about a photography project that I wanted to try. I've finally gotten around to starting it. The idea is that every day for a year (for 365 days) I have to take a picture of...something. I'm currently one week into it and think I've had some pretty good results. We'll see how it continues over the next 51 weeks.

So here it is, my 365 project. Please feel free to look and comment.

Something I Made

2010-01-07T08:42:00.005-07:00

A few months ago, my brother came to me with an idea for his wife's Christmas present. He wanted to take one of their wedding pictures and put ghost-like pictures of his kids around it. Having just installed Photoshop on my computer, I was game to help him with it. After getting the picture from him, I decided to clean it up. In the end, adding the kids' pictures was the easy part.

So here we go. Before:
After:

Things Tamsin Says That Make Me Laugh

2009-12-15T18:00:00.003-07:00

* She yells "stuck" while in her carseat.

* She calls her Etch-a-Sketch an "A-B-C-D"

* She calls the harmonica "Buffy"

* Whenever she cries for no apparent reason, we tease her about having a hard life. Now she'll say "Hard. Life" when she's crying.

* She gives hugs and says "Love you" to many things. "Love you, Daddy. Love you, Monkey. Love you, water."

*My sister Robyn is "Wawa" in Tamsin-ese. Robyn's daughter, Danika, is "Ca-la-la."

* Corn is "corner"

* She talks about Santa a lot. However, when asked if she wants to go see Santa, she very quickly and vehemently replies "No Sinta."

* She pretends to snore when she's playing "Sleeping."

* All deer (reindeer, regular deer, etc) are called "Oh dear."

My Little Genius

2009-12-15T15:29:00.007-07:00

Here are some pictures of Tamsin in the snow. It took longer to dress her in snow-appropriate attire than it did for her to decide the snow is cold and she wanted to go in the house. And why do kids feel the need to eat snow? Whenever we walk out the front door Tamsin has to grab a handful of snow and put it in her mouth. Every. Single. Time. Why???? At least she has deemed the snow "Nummy."

And Now for the Genius Part
Some video of a pop quiz given to Tamsin just before Thanksgiving.

What's In A Name?

2009-11-10T08:52:00.002-07:00

Working Titles
Tamsin has always loved books. Her favorite toy is her books. Her language skills are now at the point where she can request each one by name. Sort of. Most of the names for her books are pretty obvious - Fish for One Fish Two Fish, Mooney for Marvin K. Mooney, Moon for Goodnight Moon and Duck for Cuddle for Little Duck. Others are a little more creative, like Mama Mama for Inside Outside Upside Down (from the last page of the book) or Sheep for Time for Bed (the cover). Bear could be Brown Bear Brown Bear or Baby Bear Baby Bear or Panda Bear Panda Bear. My personal favorites, though, are Goat for Dr. Seuss's ABC and Doctor No Monkeys for Eight SillyMonkeys.

More Names
Tamsin has started naming her Little People. The guy wearing a hard hat is named Hat. The girl in glasses is named, of course, Glasses. She'll run across the room screaming Glasses or Hat looking for these toys. I think this is hilarious.

Update:
Apparently Dr. Seuss ABC book is now BeeCees.

A Little of Me and a Lot of Tamsin

2009-10-31T19:39:00.003-06:00

It's Been an Unproductive Week
Things I was unable to do while my computer was broken:

Look up the number for the laptop repair place
File my unemployment claim - yes, there is a phone number, but I have no idea what it is
Entertain my child with endless viewings of Elmo's Song and Hey Ya on YouTube
Shop for various things like a holiday dress/outfit for Tamsin, step stool, Christmas gifts and a food mill
Add a shopping cart to Tamsin's wishlist
Watch TV - does anybody still watch when shows are actually broadcast?
Update my blog (I honestly had started an update before the computer died)
RSVP to a couple of parties
Prepare and print November invoices for my piano students
Send resumes to the few available marketing jobs in order to receive my unemployment benefit
Check my bank account balances
Check my credit card activity to make sure no one is using my missing card
Call the credit card company to report aforementioned card as missing

My Genius
I know it's a cliche, but I really do think that Tamsin is smarter than other kids. For example: Sometimes I put a hanger in her bedroom door hinge so that she can't shut herself in there - she can close doors, but is unable to open them. Her genius does have limits. Anyway, one night Kenji was putting her to bed and I was trying to close the door. I was unable to do so because of the hanger. Tamsin saw my struggles and repeated "hanger, hanger" several times. After complimenting her on her awesome problem solving skills, I closed the door. Of course, now she says "hanger" anytime we close her bedroom door, so I'm beginning to wonder if she thinks "hanger" means "close the door." Sort of the way she thinks "more" (both the sign and spoken word) means "I want that." Maybe she's just confused rather than intelligent.

I Don't Know What This Means
A couple of weeks ago, my brother's kids spent the night at our house. My 3 year old neice left her baby doll and Tamsin has adopted it as her own. (Parenthetical Sidenote: My neice, Callie, calls the doll Tamsin and Tamsin has decided the doll's name is Callie. I just think that's funny.) This is one of those dolls that will laugh, cry, or say "mama" depending on where you squeeze her belly. For the first few days, Tamsin asked us to make the doll laugh for her, and then she'd giggle back. Now, though, she asks us to make the doll cry. She is very insistent about it crying and becomes upset if we squeeze the wrong place and the baby laughs instead. Once we manage to find the magic cry button, she hugs the doll and pats its back, being a comforting mommy. So, at least she has some empathy. I'm a little worried about the potentially psychopathic need to "hurt" the doll first.

Photo Dump

2009-10-26T08:17:00.017-06:00

Some pictures of my beautiful girl:

Stories From Vacation

2009-09-17T19:53:00.002-06:00

What's In A Name
Tamsin has a beloved stuffed dog that she (or we) has always referred to as "Puppy." We stayed a week with Kenji's sister...and with her dog, Jesse. Tamsin now refers to her puppy as "Jesse."

My Polite Daughter
While we were in Seattle, we went to the park a lot. One morning we were there rather early in the morning and there were several bums still sleeping in various spots. Tamsin said "hi" to every one of them.

Climb Every, um, Slide
One morning at the park, Tamsin was playing near the slide with some other kids - one was 18 months and the other was about 2.5 or 3. Anyway, they were all trying to climb the slide because...well, I don't know why. Anyway, Tamsin was halfway up the slide before I really figured out what she was doing. She managed to get to the top without any help from. The 18-month-old need a hand to get up and the older boy didn't make it all. My kid is stronger than the big boys.

Reading is Fun
We spend most of our vacation at Kenji's grandmother's house. Across from the stairs leading to her basement is a bookshelf. Whenever she had the opportunity (which was often), Tamsin would get a book (usually some kind of novel), sit on the bottom stair and "read" it.

Um...Clever Update Title?

2009-08-24T11:38:00.005-06:00

Bah-bye
Saturday night, we were all sitting in the living room. Kenji was looking up music videos on Youtube. Tamsin was pulling books off the shelf. I was playing with my camera. Suddenly, Tamsin grabs a book (No Cry Sleep Solution), says "Bah-bye" and walks down the dark hall to her dark room. It was so random. Maybe nobody else will think it's funny, but Kenji and I couldn't stop laughing at her.

Now what?
We leave for vacation Friday night. Since we'll be driving something like 5 million miles, we decided we needed to get the brakes checked before leaving. So I dropped Tamsin off at my sister's house, took the car into Les Schwab and walked down the street to use the WiFi at a coffee shop. About 90 minutes after I got here, the technician called and said we needed to replace the brakes (not really a surprise). They'll be done sometime this afternoon. So what am I supposed to do for the next XX hours? There's only so much internetting one can do. And how much longer can I sit here without order another latte or something?

So, this vacation we're going on...
I'm worried it won't be an actual vacation. Exactly how does one relax with a 14 month old, in someone else's (un-babyproofed) house for 2 weeks? Not to mention the logistics of packing - how much of everything do we need? What am I going to leave behind only to discover Tamsin absolutely NEEDS it to avoid a meltdown. I can't handle the stress of this vacation. I think I'm ready to come home now.

More Tamsin
* We've been teaching her some sign language so she can communicate with us a little better. We taught her "all done" to let us know when she was done eating. In her head, though, it means "unbuckle me from this highchair/stroller/carseat so I can go play."
* When she wakes up in the morning, she makes her "all done" sign and hands me my glasses to let me know it's time to get out of bed.
* She dances to anything - any sound that's remotely rhythmic: the phone ringing, the sound of sandpaper, the clink of a spoon on my coffee mug, fireworks.
* For a while, all drinks in our house were either beer or water. My morning coffee was beer. Her morning milk was water. Now everything is just water, including beer.
* She would spend all day outside if given the chance. As soon as breakfast is over in the morning or she wakes up from her nap in the afternoon, she starts asking for " 'side" and brings me her shoes.
* This child loves shoes. She becomes ridiculously excited in shoe stores.
* Her words for "butterfly" and "pacifier" sound exactly the same: Biee.
* She somehow managed to save a phone number into my phone. Smart girl.

Miscommunication

2009-08-03T12:26:00.004-06:00

Words Tamsin uses but doesn't seem to understand:

Soft: used for all textures in her touch and feel books - even the prickly hedgehog texture gets a "soft" from her. Also used while hitting you in the face.

All done: This is actually a sign we taught her so she could let us know when she was finished eating. Except now she uses it any time she wants down from her chair, including when you first put her in it and she hasn't eaten a thing.

No: Used in response to any question. Also used when she's about to get into something she knows is forbidden.

Eye: She does know what an eye is. However, when asked "Tamsin, where is your eye?" she proceeds to poke mommy in the eye while saying it.

Ball: Again, this can be used correctly. Or it can be a piece of fruit. We've actually had to resort to hiding the fruit basket at mealtimes to stop the cries of "Ball, ball."

Bye-bye: She says this at random times during the day, but rarely when somebody is leaving.

All Over the Place

2009-06-24T17:50:00.008-06:00

It's Only Funny When It's Someone Else's Kid
Tamsin knows the word "no." She uses it in context about 90% of the time - the other 10% is just repeating the word over and over and over and over and...Anyway, when I say "no" to her, there's a 50/50 chance that she'll listen to me. The most annoying is when she's headed toward the garbage can, the hearth, the accidentally-left-open bathroom door, wherever, saying "nononono" as she walks. I always thought it was cute and funny when the parents of toddlers relayed stories of this nature. When it's my toddler? It's just annoying. OK, it's actually really cute and funny. She also says "uh-oh" as she throws pieces of food off her tray. I think that's pretty cute and funny and annoying, too.

My Brave Girl - or Not So Much
Tamsin had her 12-month well child visit yesterday. She received 2 vaccination shots and did not cry. A little screaming, but no tears. When I took the band-aids off later in the day, though, you'd have thought I was beating the poor child the way she cried and screamed. At the visit, though, she was 29.5 inches tall (70th percentile) and 20 lbs 1 oz (35th percentile). Looks like she's growing into a tall skinny girl.

Blog Visitors
Once upon a time, I mentioned I had signed up for Google Analytics to see how many readers I have. It also shows me where my readers live. After my last entry my blog must have been featured somewhere because suddenly I had readers from India, Brazil, Mexico, Sweeden, Honduras and Argentina. I really want these people to come back because I like the idea of being an international, cosmopolitan blogger.

Will Work for Food
I know this is the wrong time of year for students to start piano lessons, but I've been advertising for 2.5 weeks and have only had one tiny, little nibble. I need a lot more nibbles before the fall so that I can have a full studio. So, if you live in the Salt Lake City area and want piano lessons, please visit my new, not-so-state-of-the-art piano teacher website. Or, you know, just go there and critique it. Or, maybe, just visit it because you're curious. I'm good with any of those reasons. Because, of course, I'm tracking visitors to that site on my Google Analytics page.

It's Been a While

2009-06-15T21:34:00.015-06:00

You'd think I'd have more time for blogging...
I lost my job 2 weeks ago. I can't help but be relieved and, well, happy about it. I hadn't been happy there for a long time - I remember wanting to quit within the first 6 months on the job. Kenji and I have talked about me becoming a piano teacher full time. But losing that set income for something less sure was too scary a step. But, now I have the opportunity to do it. And hope it works out. Fast. We can't have me without any income for very long.

She talks. And never shuts up.
Tamsin has a lot of words now - in addition to "boo" (chronicled earlier this year), she can say mama, dada, book (which sounds very similar to boo), wow, see, this (as a question) and cheese. She also says "baaa" and "datsy" a lot, but I haven't been able to figure out what they mean. I'll take suggestions on that.

Update: Right after posting this entry, Kenji informed me that Tamsin talks in her sleep. He went in to make sure her blanket covered her feet, she rolled over, held her hand up, said "see," then rolled back, all without waking up.

Only 4 Years left until the Big Itch
We celebrated our 3 year anniversary on the 20th. It's strange to think we've only been married for 3 years. It seems like a whole other life when I think back to the days before I met Kenji. And have I ever mentioned how great he is? He does all the yard work, shares cooking and cleaning duties, takes care of Tamsin and rarely complains even though I can be a nit-picky, naggy brat a lot of the time. Oh - and for anniversary gifts? I gave him a wallet and belt (3 is the leather anniversary) and he gave me a digital SLR camera. Yeah, I suck and owe him big time. But, I am totally loving that camera.

My Odd Child
Tamsin is a strange eater. Like many kids, she loves cheese. That has become one of her main sources of protein. She also loves beans - as long as they are black beans or baked beans. Pinto beans get thrown from her tray (one by one) and we'll try red beans tomorrow. She has eaten any veggie we've given her - peas and green beans are her favorites, though carrots rank pretty highly, too. But she won't eat fruit. No bananas, no peaches, no oranges, no mango, no grapes - you get the idea. Want to know what she will eat? Grapefruit and lemons - loves them. I don't get it. At all.

Birthday Girl
Tamsin turned one yesterday and we had a big ole party for her on Saturday. Just a few pictures (taken with the awesome new camera) chronicling the event:

Balloons

Sharing dinner with her boyfriend

Opening presents with Mommy

Cake!

And...She Walks

2009-05-12T20:09:00.005-06:00

We actually taped this last week. Since then, she's managed to walk on uneven grass and also in sandles.

Two Little Things

2009-05-08T16:59:00.005-06:00

My Need for Validation
I've found another way to validate my online self. I signed up for Google Analytics so that I can track readers of this blog. It appears there are 12 of you. Actually, I'm probably one of those 12. I might be 2 of those 12, now that I think about it since I access this blog from home and work so there would be 2 IP addresses. And I check for comments on a very regular basis. Because, you know, I need validation that people are reading what I write. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that you're enjoying it, too, since there are some repeat viewers according to the analysis. But, Yay! 10 readers.

Destiny
Tamsin and her boyfriend are spending more time together. Last weekend she kept hitting him until he cried and then he tried to eat her hair. During dinner, they kept stealing each other's food. I'm telling you, these two are made for each other.

Unrelated

2009-04-29T13:16:00.003-06:00

My New Favorite Commercial
I was watching other stuff online when this commercial came on. I laugh out loud every time I see it.

Seeing Double. Again
From my Facebook home page.

Feebee can't focus........
9 minutes ago

Katie cannot focus what so ever..
11 minutes go

Calming Interlude

2009-04-28T09:23:00.005-06:00

Match Made in Heaven
Sunday we went to the aquarium with Tamsin's boyfriend and his parents. He's five weeks older than her and, truth be told, they really haven't spent much time with each other. At any given time, one of them is sleeping (him) or having a meltdown (her). After the aquarium, we went to lunch and their highchairs were placed side by side. Silly girl couldn't keep her hands off of him. Actually, she was trying to grab his food, I think. Or she was hitting him.* But then, he was taking her bottle. And don't even get me started with the toys. Somehow, someday, these two little persons will look at each other and realize they've been in love since before their first birthdays.

*Tamsin was in a very hitty mood this weekend. When the waitress was leaning over the table, Tamsin was hitting her bum. I wonder if she's still too young to understand "personal space."

Lean, Mean Machine
I've been working out for about 2 months now. I usually get 3 to 6 workouts in each week. Whether I work out that day is very much tied to how Tamsin slept the night before - a good night means a workout day, a bad night means no energy. Anyway, I think I'm starting to see results. I can feel more tone in my thighs and glutes. Now, no one is going to look at me and think I have a toned body. In fact, most people looking at me will only see the layer of fat covering the more toned muscle, but *I* know it's there. Now I wish all that work would translate into a smaller dress size - I miss my clothes.

New Milestones
So, I posted the video of Tamsin's first word last week. What I didn't get on video was the unsupported step she took between the couch and her piano. This was followed by 2 steps at her uncle's house this weekend. And, apparently, 3 steps last night chasing me when I left the room. I'm so proud of her...and a little scared, too.

The Countdown Begins OR Week 2

2009-04-27T09:54:00.008-06:00

Day 8 - Sunday
Two birthday celebrations and I managed to avoid sugar at both of them. That was not an easy feat.

6 days to go.

Day 9 - Monday
Donut day again. Why did I choose 2 weeks instead of 1 week again? I'm beginning to wonder if sugar actually does serve a purpose...

5 days.

Day 10 - Tuesday
This is really starting to suck. Everything has sugar. Seriously, everything. Did you know that Wheat Thins have sugar in them? Why does a wheat cracker need sugar? Last night I told Kenji maybe I should relax my rules a bit, but this morning I think that's a bad idea. Maybe I need this second week of no-sugar to really understand how much I'm eating. Last week it was a fun little experiment. This week is driving home the point. It's still getting really old. I feel like I can't eat anything - there's only so much fruit a person can eat, y'know? Whatever.

Only 4 days left.

Day 11 - Wednesday
I kept dropping things all day. Do you think it's because I don't have enough sugar in my system any more? I'm just going to assume that's the cause rather than my natural propensity for clumsiness.

3 Days to go.

Day 12 - Thursday
Wow. I've been at this for 12 full days. Weird. I think what I'm missing most is grains. I don't eat a lot of bread, but I do like crackers. I really love multi-grain crackers with some cheese. But I have yet to find a cracker* that doesn't have sugar as one of the first few ingredients. It's really discouraging. Like I said before, there's only so much fruit my body can handle.

*We have some rice crackers that don't have sugar, but they don't really satisfy the grain craving. They're tasty (really tasty!), but it's just not quite right.

2 Days until the glorious sugar binge. Or you know, maybe just a chocolate bar.

Day 13 - Friday
I'm satisfying my sweet and grain cravings by eating a piece of whole wheat bread (that I made myself!) with honey. Hopefully eating this first thing in the morning will help me avoid the frustration I've been feeling later in the day.

1 Day left.

Day 14 - Saturday
Final day. I made it. As a retrospective, I really doubt my eating habits are going to change as a result of going without sugar for 2 weeks. I am more aware of how many products contain sugar, but, the truth is, I don't eat a ton of those products anyway. I did miss eating crackers, but that was about it. I know I shouldn't be eating a bunch of desserts and drinking sodas on a regular basis, so I only do it occassionally anyway. This has been a good and valuable experience, but, like I already said, I don't think I'll be eating too much differently in the future.

Day 15 - Sunday
I had chocolate-peanut butter rice krispie treats for breakfast.

A Couple of Videos for Your Enjoyment

2009-04-24T12:29:00.002-06:00

My Bi-Polar Baby

Possible First Word?
She was still saying "Boo" the next morning so I think she has put meaning with it...

Sugar Free - Week 1

2009-04-20T09:45:00.010-06:00

Day 1 - Sunday
Not too bad. We don't usually have a ton of sugar products in the house, so it was fairly easy day. The walk through Costco with their free samples every 2 feet was a bit treacherous, but I made in through unscathed.

Day 2 - Monday
The donuts down the hall are taunting me. I've skipped the donuts on Monday morning before - it's not a big deal. But today, those donuts are just calling out my name. Mean donuts. Only 10-ish hours until I can satisfy my sweet tooth with grilled pineapple.

This was a tough day. Not only was it donut day, but someone brought in cookies from a nearby bakery. They have the best sugar cookies in the world. I probably looked like a freak of nature reading the ingredient lists on potato chip bags at Subway, but Salt & Vinegar flavor have no sugar - BBQ and Sour Cream & Onion flavor do contain sugar. I also discovered that my beloved teriyaki turkey jerky has sugar - which I should have known and probably suspected. But it still makes sad.

The grilled pineapple and pears were a lovely dessert, though.

Day 3 - Tuesday
It's the little things getting to me. Mainly at work. The Coke in the fridge, the hot chocolate on the counter, the candy in the snack drawer. Somehow cheese and rice crackers aren't cutting it for me.

Day 4 - Wednesday
I woke up with a nasty headache. I don't know if it's related to my lack of sugar or just because I get headaches sometimes. Hopefully some caffeine and fruit for breakfast will cure it.

Day 5 - Thursday
Today didn't seem so bad. I think Day 4 was the critical point. I did have fast-food nachos for lunch and I don't know if there was any sugar in my meal. But none of the various ingredients (tortilla chips, guacamole, beans, etc) traditionally contain sugar, so I think I'm good on that one.

Day 6 - Friday
I'm starving today. I don't know if that has anything to do with my sugar deprivation, but I think I could eat the entire contents of my refrigerator right now. The sugar cravings do seem to be pretty low, though. I would have loved a flavored creamer in my coffee this morning, but I'm OK without it.

Day 7 - Saturday
I miss chocolate. Halfway through my challenge - Yay!

Sugar Free

2009-04-18T09:26:00.002-06:00

I've decided to spend 2 weeks not eating any sugar. I need to break the sugar habit. It's also an experiment in self-discipline.

Here are the rules:
No desserts or candy (obviously)
No sugar in my coffee
No fake sugar (which I don't like anyway)
As much natural sugar as I want - fruit is perfectly OK
Honey is OK as long as it's in something I would use honey for anyway - like in tea. A cake made with honey would defeat the purpose.
No sweetened processed/prepared foods - like flavored yogurt

Kenji is laughing at me for this. He doesn't think I can do it. Which, of course, makes me all the more determined to finish out my 2 weeks.

In preparation, I'm going to have sugar at every meal. For breakfast, I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg. I'll probably have something protein-ish in a minute.

Apparently I have no life outside of my kid

2009-04-06T16:34:00.000-06:00

Sleeps Like A Baby Indeed
The other night, I was making salsa before going to bed. Our handy dandy chopper thing makes a very loud noise when you close it. Kenji set the security alarm when I was about halfway through the salsa chopping. Suddenly, the alarm went off, screeching loud enough for the entire world to hear. We've concluded that it was our glass-break sensor misinterpreting the sound of the chopper. Tamsin slept through the entire thing - not a whimper, not a cry, not even the slightest movement. How is that possible?

New Milestones
She's growing up so fast. Tamsin can now clap her hands - in fact, she loves clapping her hands. Yesterday, she also let go of her activity table and stood unsupported for about 10 seconds. She did it again a few minutes later. Baby girl is learning new things every day. Of course, she still doesn't hold her own bottle, but whatever.

Random Thoughts and Observations (Mostly about Tamsin, but whatever)

2009-03-30T13:57:00.000-06:00

* Tamsin has a new face she makes when she's angry - she wrinkles up her nose, closes her eyes and sticks out her lips. What's great is that if you make the face back at her, she starts laughing.

* Tamsin has finally figured out how to say the "ma" sound. Except she uses it when she's whining. I now know what my future holds when she wants something and can say "Mama" over and over in a whiny tone.

* I'm beginning to wonder if Tamsin will eat better if I just put her food on the floor instead of on her highchair tray. It seems likes anything on the floor is fair game for going in her mouth, but if it's on her tray, it should be ignored.

* I saw a sign on my way into work today that said something about "This project is paid for by whatever the name of the stimulus bill is." I'm all for putting Americans to work and getting the roads cleaned up and all of that, but not on my commute, please. I really don't need a construction zone on my way to work every morning.

* Tamsin is a climber. She can't really walk yet, but the kid can climb:

My Kid is Brilliant

2009-03-11T20:32:00.003-06:00

Tamsin knows how to wave "bye-bye." I'm irrationally proud of her for it. And a little bit sad, too. My baby is all grown up.

A Litany of Stories for Your Enjoyment

2009-03-08T12:16:00.004-06:00

Baby Stories
So, I think Tamsin is the coolest, funniest kid in the world.* She cracks me up every. single. day. She loves giving (and receiving) raspberries. I get them on my neck, chest and wrist (doesn't work so well). Saturday morning, the oven door was getting raspberries.

*I honestly wonder if all babies are this funny, or if mine is particularly amusing. I tend to think she's particularly amusing, but maybe I just haven't been around other babies enough.

Yesterday, Tamsin was happily pulling things out of the diaper bag.* She found the extra pacifier we keep in it. She promptly spit out the pacifier in her mouth and replaced it with the pacifier she had just found. Then she saw the first pacifier sitting in front of her on the floor, promptly spit out the new pacifier and put the first one back in. Once again, she saw the new pacifier sitting on the floor, spit out the first one and replaced it with the new one. Rinse and repeat for about 4 or 5 changes. She continued to do this throughout the day whenever she came across a new pacifier while playing.** I may have even teased her with 3 pacifiers while putting her to bed.

*The diaper bag is fantastic treasure trove of toys, diapers, mommy's wallet and a million other things to discover and put in her mouth.

**I will get the endless pacifier exchange on tape. So far, whenever I try, she loses interest in the pacifiers and wants to grab the camera. Somehow, though, the video proof of her silliness will be obtained.

Stories of an Awesome Person
I just want to give kudos to the man who manages/owns my office building. He is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met. His name is Dave and he will probably never read this blog. Every September, he has a Tenant Appreciation Luncheon for every person who works in the building. He brings in a band and has absolutely fantastic food for everyone. Each Monday morning, he provides fruit and donuts for the building. On the Monday before Christmas, he'll have quiche and sausage and I don't even know what else - just a lot of really yummy breakfast foods.

He calls me by name, even though we don't interact very often. One time in early January, I saw him in the hall when I was particularly frustrated about Tamsin being sick and mentioned it to him. Since that day, he asks how my baby is doing every time he sees me. Another time, he was having the bathrooms painted and I asked about the color, because I thought it would work in my house with our new floors. Rather than just tell me the name and brand, he actually gave me a partial can of paint so I could test it in the house. I'm telling you, this man is truly, honestly, genuinely just nice.

Brought to you by about 4 hours of non-consecutive sleep

2009-03-06T15:26:00.005-07:00

Four Eyes, Four Eyes
This ad from Facebook totally freaks me out. I hate it.

Walk, Don't Run
Well, it's not really running. It's not exactly walking yet, either. But, I've just about decided Tamsin is not going to crawl. She scoots around really well and she'll get up on her knees to rock a bit, but then drop down to move. She can get from point A to point B pretty quickly on her belly and elbows. Usually, Point A is where I've put her down with some little toys and Point B is a piece of furniture (or a large toy, or the stove, or the baby gate, anything with a little bit of height) she can use to pull up to standing. She's been able to pull up to standing for 2.5 months. But she still has a hard time getting into a sitting position by herself. Kid just doesn't do anything the way you expect her to do it.

Why aren't you listening to me?
Tamsin sleeps in a pack-n-play in our room for much of the night. I'm too lazy to go to her room just to give her a pacifier in the middle of the night. Anyway, yesterday she woke up a little bit earlier than usual - or maybe just earlier than I wanted to get out of bed. So she pulled up to standing (while I scooted to the center of the bed so she couldn't grab my face or hair). Then I hear, "eh." We ignored it. Then, "Eh" a little more emphatically. Still ignored it. "EH! EH!" Guess I need to pay attention to her at that point, huh?

Whining
Tamsin had a lot of colds during her first 6 months - averaging one a month up to about 4 months and then one cold after another for almost 6 weeks. Then she had her 6-month well child visit. In the 2.5 months since then, she's had rotovirus, strep (what 6.5 month old gets strep?) and RSV with pneumonia. Oh, and ear infections. I'd gladly go back to the colds at this point.

A Photo Dump

2009-02-26T08:57:00.006-07:00

Some recent pictures of my kid. Ok the first one isn't so recent, but I just discovered it on the camera and I love it.

I Don't Have a Title Today

2009-02-20T07:30:00.004-07:00

Memory is a Fickle Thing
After months and months of reading to her at least once a day, Tamsin has started recognizing her books. When you open the book, she giggles. And then she giggles at each page as you go through the story. So far, we know she likes Goodnight, Moon and 8 Silly Monkeys. She isn't showing the love for The Very Hungry Caterpillar or One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. It's a lot of fun reading to her now, knowing that she enjoys it and isn't just enduring it until I finally let her go to sleep.

It's Not Me, It's You
I seem to be very angry today. I'm seeing a lot of stupidity and one-sidedness all around me. It started early while watching the morning news. I saw a commercial for Energy Solutions - this company is evil, in my opinion. They basically want to make Utah into the world's radioactive garbage can and are currently running an ad campaign to paint themselves in a positive light. I'm not having any of it. I hate them. Later in the day, I basically told a message board person that she's racist. But I think people can be really narrow-minded sometimes and it makes my blood boil. I can't keep quiet. Especially today.

How Does One Punctuate Presidents' Day?

2009-02-16T14:48:00.003-07:00

I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA.
I had an obsessive parenting spell last week. I was half-convinced Tamsin was saying "Yeah" when we asked her questions. I have since realized that she is just making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "yeah" but has no real meaning. Anyway, during the spell, I posted on a Mothering magazine message board* asking when other babies said their first words. Well, it turns out, Tamsin is the dunce of group with her first maybe-possibly-probably-not word at 8 months old. According to a rough scan of the replies, the average age for first word is about 5 months and by 8 months she should have a pretty extensive vocabulary. But, seriously, people, if your 2-month-old happens to make the "Ma-ma" sound**, she's not calling to you. She's just trying out a new sound.

*The people who post on Mothering are an interesting mix. Generally, I get some good advice there. And I really admire the efforts these women make to live naturally, but there are some real whack-a-dos on that site.

**Tamsin refuses to say "Ma-ma." When I try to prompt her to say it, she just laughs at me.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I really love the word conundrum today. I keep coming up with scenarios in my head just so I can say, "It's a conundrum." It started with the message board inspired question of whether to post my Facebook status in first person or third person? It's a conundrum. And has escalated to, "Do I eat my soup first? Or my cottage cheese? It's a conundrum." I'm sure I will encounter many more conundrums throughout the day.

You like me. You really like me. Or not?
So last week, I waxed poetic on my love for message boards. What I didn't tell you is how obsessive I am about checking them - especially when I've written something. I'm always checking to see if someone has read and commented on something I've written. This is also the source of my Facebook addiction: I want people to read and comment on my status. I also want them to tell me my kid is cute*. I apparently seek personal validation from random internet people.

*Because she is cute. Anyone who denies it is blind.

Where Irrationality and Rationality Meet in Perfect Harmony

2009-02-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

Will it lower her cholesterol by 4%?
Finally, we've found a solid food that Tamsin will actually eat. Cheerios. She won't eat more than about 5 bites of any puree or baby cereal. She spit out the avacado pieces we gave her. She's gagged on banana chunks and carrots, but she seems to like them OK. But she ate every Cheerio I gave her last night. Maybe this means she's a carb-person like her mommy?

My Own Private Focus Group
I have an irrational hatred of a commercial. I can't find it online, so here's a brief description: I think it's for Chase. A man and a woman go into a restuarant and she starts reading the menu. He focuses in on the "cash-only" notice. So he runs outside and defies death trying to get to an ATM for cash. Meanwhile, she's just reading every. single. item on the menu, never looking up. She finishes the menu just as he gets back to his seat. Every time I see it (which is often since Chase seems to a major sponser of my local morning news), I can't help mentally tearing it apart. Why can't the guy just *tell* his date he doesn't have cash? And what restaurant only accepts cash in the first place? And who reads a menu, out loud, like it's a book, without ever looking at the person their talking to? Gah! I get angry just thinking about it.

From Hate to Love
I have an irrational love for online message boards. I've been a regular message board user since 2002. I met my husband on one. I am proficient in multiple message board formats. I spend an extraordinary amount of time browsing the boards I frequent. Yes, that is multiple boards. Did I not just say "irrational love" and "extraordinary amount of time?" If I have a problem, I go to message board land to solve it. If the problem can't be addressed by one of the boards I currently frequent, I go out and find one. When we bought our Nissan in November and I had questions, did I go to Nissan for answers? No. I went and joined a Nissan message board. I'm thinking another 12-step program may be in order here.

Here We Go Again

2009-02-09T07:42:00.003-07:00

7 Days and Counting
I have worked out every night for a week now. I don't think I've ever actually done 7 days in a row before. Starting to feel it in my upper abs. Haven't seen any weight loss, yet, but working out has more benefits than losing inches, right? Right?

One Hand. Two Hands. Three Hands?
Tamsin has this toy that came with about 5 million little balls. The other day we were playing and I held three of the balls in front of her. She took one in each hand and banged them together. She looked at the third ball, still in my hand, looked at each of her hands and then leaned forward to pick up the ball with her mouth? To taste the third ball? I don't know but it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Nest Step: World Domination
I have followers. Four of them, in fact. Or this blog has followers. Nothing like totally whoring out the link all over Facebook to gain readers, huh? Anyway, I think I need to figure out what to do with these followers. Do you think if I start putting subliminal messages in here they'll eventually all bow to my will and do what I want?

And the Beat Goes On...

2009-02-04T09:26:00.010-07:00

Making Do
Tamsin has learned how to move the blanket for peek-a-boo. She starts smiling as soon as she sees I have a blanket to put over her head. She promptly tries to eat it before pulling it down to start play. Then she puts it up and down and up and down. Now, though, if I'm not fast enough with the blanket, she'll use her dress - lifting it up and down and up and down. I hope she's not still doing this in 15 years.

No Pain No Gain?
After years (4 years? 5?) of wanting it, I finally purchased the Yoga Booty Ballet exercise DVDs. I've done a different workout every night this week and I don't hurt. Well not much. How is that possible? Hopefully the lack of pain is a sign of a well-designed workout with sufficient warm up and cool down periods and not an indication that I'm not working hard enough.

I Think I Need an Intervention
I can't stay away from Facebook. It's becoming a serious addiction. So far this morning, I've changed my status twice, reconnected with 2 new friends and made probably half a dozen comments. And today is actually a good day. Is there a Facebook 12-step program?

Tamsin's Firsts
I don't have a baby book. This is the closest thing I've got to a journal. So, I'm going to record her milestones here before I forget them.

First smile: 17 days
First laugh: About 8 weeks? I almost missed it. I got out of the shower and heard her laughing in the other room. The Ocean Wonders Aquarium was really funny.
First Rollover: She rolled both directions on the same day. Front to back in the morning, back to front that night. September 26, 3.5 months old.
First tooth: The day before her 7-month birthday.
First thing she "watched" on TV: Obama's nomination acceptance speech. She thought the faces on TV were really interesting. (Yes, I know this isn't a "real" first, but it's cool just the same. She also watched the inauguration with me.)
What firsts am I still missing?

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-03T14:14:00.007-07:00

This is from Facebook. Thought I'd put it here, too.

1 - When I read or hear a sentence (online, in a book, TV, radio, etc.) that is grammatically incorrect, I have to mentally correct it before I can go on.

2 - When I read a sentence that seems awkward, I mentally diagram it to make sure it it grammatically correct.

3 - When I read a sentence and just flat out don't like the wording, I mentally rewrite it.

4 - Apparently, I'm a sentence nerd.

5 - I always dress Tamsin in her cutest outfits on the days I'm home with her so that I can enjoy the cuteness. She can wear the other stuff on days when I'm at work.

6 - I spent 7 months living in Italy and speak virtually no Italian. It's rather sad, really.

7 - Speaking of Tamsin's clothing, she was in a cute dress for baby story time this morning while I was dressed like schlub in jeans and a stained t-shirt (didn't realize it was stained until I was on my way). What happened to the days when I actually took pride in my appearance?

8 - I don't really want to be a stay-at-home mom, but I don't want to work either.

9 - I have the most amazing husband. Seriously. He puts up with so much crap from me.

10 - I love the smell of wood. I don't know why but it's the best smell in the world sometimes.

11 - My house is almost never truly clean. Once in a while I'll clean a room or two, but most of the time it's pretty cluttered.

12 - I'm not a natural germaphobe - couldn't care less about germs really. But now that I have a baby who gets sick all. the. time. I have become super paranoid. I've even become one of *those* moms who puts a cover on the grocery cart before putting her baby in it. But you'd do it too if you're kid got strep at 6 months old!

13 - I have an irrational fear of those semis that carry cars - I refuse to be behind one at a red light. I just know that last car on the top - the one that's angled slightly downward - is going to come loose and crash through my windshield.

14 - I've started probably 30 blogs (maybe not *quite* that many) in the past 5 years. They each have maybe 2 entries. Whenever I get the blogging (or journaling) itch, I just start a new one.

15 - I don't think I'll ever get my ugly entryway painted - I just cannot decide on a color.

16 - I really don't think I'm interesting enough to come up with 25 random things. Honest.

17 - I went to law school for one year. Now I think I know everything there is to know about how the world works.

18 - When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fashion designer. Based on #7 above, that's really funny.

19 - After I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to be an archeaologist. I seriously thought I would discover Atlantis or something.

20 - I have a degree in Public Relations. When I picked my major, I went with something "I could use." Now that I'm not using it, I wish I would have done anthropology or something more interesting.

21 - Whenever I buy a lottery ticket I really think I have a chance of winning and am disappointed when I don't.

22 - I just entered HGTV's dream home sweepstakes. Again, I think I have a real chance of winning and will probably look up schools and job prospects in Sonoma at some point.

23 - Along the lines of truly improbable, when I was a teenager, I wanted to be "discovered" by a modelling scout. Because modeling scouts are regularly in Huntington, UT.

24 - I watch a lot of TV online these days. This is what I do during Tamsin's naps rather than cleaning my ever-dirty house.

25 - I got nothing. But I finally reached 25.

Monday Monday

2009-02-02T08:17:00.004-07:00

Do you know any gypsies?
I've got a whiny baby who refuses to sleep and I'm considering selling her. Any buyers?

The Greatest Invention since Sliced Bread
I love the internet. I can satisfy my need to watch Super Bowl commercials without actually watching, you know, football. CareerBuilder won hands down.

Seeing Double
So, I just logged into Facebook, as I do several times a day. It's an addiction. The 2 most recent status updates are almost exactly the same. These are 2 friends who have no idea the other even exists. It's very bizarre.

Jennifer is back at work, wondering where the weekend
went. 8 minutes ago
Michelle is here, back at work, wondering WTF happened
to the weekend????? 19 minutes ago

In the Beginning

2009-01-30T07:28:00.003-07:00

A New Perspective
I'm working (blogging) in the lobby of my office building. I drove my husband's car to work today and didn't think to bring my office keys with me. Fortunately, I'm able to access the company's wireless network. It's a little odd, sitting outside the office, looking in the windows, seeing the much more comfortable couch my company owns. Ah, well, only 30 minutes until another employee should be here.

A Little Bit of Heaven in Every Bite
I forgot how much I love brownies. Seriously love. I bought a premade dough thing (right next to the cookie dough) yesterday and I am having to use massive self-restraint to avoid eating the entire pan. I won't even say how many I brought with me to work. As soon as I get into the office and can get a cup of coffee, I'll be eating my brownies. Coffee and brownies is a nutritious breakfast, no?

Dry Run
Speaking of coffee, yesterday I tried to make it without water. I couldn't figure out why my coffee maker was broken. Yeah, that was bright of me. The worst part is that it's not the first time I've done it.

History in the Making
I'm spending an irrational amount of time gathering various things I've written from all over the internet. I've copied and pasted them all below for any reader's enjoyment.

Tamsin's Birth

2008-06-18T12:57:00.005-06:00

Short story:
Tamsin Aiko
Born June 14, 1:40 AM
8 lbs 1 oz, 20 inches

Long story:
We checked into the hospital a little after 7:30 Friday morning. I was put in a room and a pitocin drip was started. My doctor broke my water at about 9:00. It was a very uneventful morning. I got my epidural around 1:00. Almost immediately my heart rate sky-rocketed - it was at 220 for a long time. They kept monitoring my blood pressure and the baby to make sure my racing heartrate wasn't hurting anything. My doctor and the anesthesiologist were monitoring what was happening and a nurse stayed in the room with me basically just keeping a constant watch on all my vital signs. An echocardiogram was ordered and as soon as he was done, my heartrate started falling (somehow the test was therapeutic rather than just diagnostic), though it would fluctuate and never got below about 100 the entire time I was in labor.

Anyway, I had several more uneventful hours. Around 9, my epidural ran out. The nurse originally didn't say anything about it to me (or the anesthesiologist), so I just started feeling more and more pain. When I was finally told the epi was done, they told me I was so close that it would last until the baby was born. A couple of hours later, I was in a ton of pain and they told me to start pushing. Baby was in an anterior position and I wasn't fully dilated (they called it a lip), so it was more painful than it otherwise would have been. She was also only at +2 station (the same place she had been 2 hours earlier when the doctor said not to push yet - just wait). After about 45 minutes of pushing, I was done. I asked for a C-section (begged and ordered may be more accurate verbs here) a little before 1:00. At that point, my epi had completely worn off, I'd been in labor for 17+ hours and hadn't eaten in about 30 hours. I knew I did not have the energy to push the baby out. I know other women can do it in those circumstances, but I just couldn't.

So, they set up an OR for my C-section and gave me new drugs through my epidural. My heartrate again started racing - I think it stayed around 180 this time. The doctors have decided that when my body is under stress (either physical or mental), my heartrate goes up. There was some small incident in the OR with the baby (I can't even remember the circumstances) when it rose quite a bit while I waited to find out what happened, so I think they're probably right. Anyway, none of that matters, because my beautiful baby girl was born. Her first apgar was a 9 - I'm unreasonably proud of her for that. Kenji went with her to be weighed, measured and cleaned and I was sewn up. They brought her into me in the recovery room, she had a very succesful nursing session and I was taken to my room. Honestly, we think she couldn't be more perfect and we're so happy she's here.

You chose WHAT name?

2007-12-31T10:41:00.001-07:00

For the past 4 months, Kenji & I have tried to give our baby a nickname so we're not referring to it as "it" or "the baby." This past week, Kenji's 3-yr-old nephew was staying with us for Christmas. When asked what we should name our baby, he suggested "Baby Sneezus." Apparently, at home he created an alternative nativity scene which, in addition to 2 pirates and Santa Claus, included two babies. One of whom he named Baby Sneezus...because he's really into rhyming right now. Somehow that name has stuck. I think it's adorable and even after we find out the sex in a couple of weeks, Baby Sneezus may stick.

Oh the things that you'll smell...

2007-10-18T14:01:00.001-06:00

I’ve decided pregnancy is like a series of graduations from one symptom to another. It starts out with extreme fatigue and sore boobs, then moves on to morning sickness and sensitive smell. And speaking of sensitive smell, I have learned there is no such thing as odor-free. Everything has a scent. And after 6 months in our house, shouldn’t the previous owner smell be gone? Yeah, it’s not.
As for morning sickness, after 4 days of all-day nausea, I think I’ve got it figured out. All I have to do is throw up first thing in the morning then slowly and steadily fill my stomach with easy foods. By lunchtime, I’m good to eat whatever I want…and I basically have to eat everything I see. It’s very strange to go from complete nauseated to overwhelmingly hungry within a few hours every day.

My baby doesn't like coffee

2007-10-08T11:32:00.001-06:00

It's been 1 week since I took the 3 positive pregnancy tests. Yes, I know it's a bit wasteful to take 3 tests. I know they're designed to show a false negative rather than a shaky positive. I know all of this, and yet I still needed to take 3 tests to be sure. I needed to see that digital test say "Pregnant."

I still don't really believe it, though. Not many symptoms so far:
* Tired all the time
* Have to pee all the time
* Gas (is gas a pregnancy symptom?)
* Bloat
So far pregnancy just seems like a big, ugly digestive condition.

Also, my baby doesn’t like coffee. This makes me very sad because I LOVE coffee. But starting 5 days ago, coffee started tasting like dish soap. I thought maybe it was just a bad pot of coffee that day…but, no, it tastes like dish soap. Last night, Kenji started talking to the baby. He asked it to “tell” him whether it’s a boy or a girl. He even “listened” for an answer. Then he asked it if it’s a “boy who will grow up to be a great baseball player who will make millions of dollars and can then support us?” Nothing like laying the pressure on early.

I wonder if this means I'm old...

2007-08-27T11:40:00.001-06:00

So I'm sitting here at work listening to Yahoo radio stations, feeling completely unsatisfied with all of the music. I started with "My Station" which hypothetically should be only music I like, but some really bad artists have really good marketers and the crap shows up on my station. So I switched it to "Hard Rock" which sucked. "Alternative Rock" was only mildly better and I spent about 20 seconds at "Today's Big Hits." Everything on the modern stations sucks.
So I'm listening to the Classic Rock station and can I just say it's totally cool? Because it is. I'm finally satisfied with the music I'm listening too.
So does that mean I'm getting old? I mean that I think all the current stuff is crap? Because, really, most of the stuff on this station was released before I was born, so I just don't know what this means...

Friday Random Thoughts

2007-02-02T15:27:00.003-07:00

I haven't done this for a while (like a year and a half or something) and I'm horribly bored and unable to focus with work.

* I wish my life were interesting enough to write/publish a memoir. That'd be cool. I wonder if I could embellish it just enough to make it interesting, but not so much that I cross the line into fiction a la that one guy.

* I got nothing. My mind is a blank.

* I feel a little bit like that chick who was fired from her job for journaling on her work computer about how much she didn't want to work and the ways she went about avoiding work. So, because I feel guilty about the lack of work I'm doing, I'll end up taking some of it home for the weekend. And, y'know, the prospect of working over the weekend still doesn't motivate me to do something this afternoon.

* I know there are packages waiting for us at the Post Office. I'm trying to figure out a way to get there after work, wait in line and still get to Lehi to teach piano by 6. There must be a way...

* I'm starving even though I ate a good lunch. Why can I not get full?

* I'd like to go shopping. I have a gift card burning a hole in my pocket.

* Now I'm thinking about the house...how do you paint the entry for a split-entry without falling down the stairs? I really hope I can figure this out. And I really hope that the inspection and closing and whatever else go well so that painting the entryway remains a relevant issue.

* Seriously starving. The hell?

* Do you remember that show "227"? With Jacquee or whatever her name was. Yeah I just found an extension that was 227 and it reminded me of that show. That show kind of sucked - as did most sit-coms of that time. But I watched them all anyway. And I laughed.

* I probably should have filed this afternoon. It's a nice, no-focus activity. Too late now. How did I end up with the duty to file anyway?

Eh. That's all. The guilt of not working is getting to me - even though I've been working between thoughts. I need a new job.

Questions I Hate

2006-10-10T20:12:00.001-06:00

There are 3 questions that I hate when people ask me:

#1 - How's married life? Honestly, how do they expect me to answer this question? Am I supposed to say it sucks? (It doesn't.) Married life is a lot like life when we lived together - only now I have insurance.

#2 - When are you having kids? None of your damn business, asshole. I actually find this question to not only be annoying but incredibly rude. How is the timing of when we will have kids anyone's business beside mine and Kenji's? And, furthermore, how do you know I haven't been trying to get pregnant for 5 years and you just poured salt in the wound? Why is this an acceptable question to ask?

#3 - So what's been happening/what's new? This one isn't so bad once in a while or when "Not much" is the expected response. But don't ask it and then look at me expectantly - like you want a long, detailed story about my life. I'm really not that exciting. Especially on a weekly basis.

This blog is brought to you by my oh-so-caring bosses, who, combined, manage to ask each of these questions at least once a week.

Another Nightmare...

2006-04-16T17:37:00.000-06:00

With just over 30 days to go, I'm having wedding nightmares again. The latest, you ask?
So, I get to the reception center on a beautiful May day and I'm putting on my dress and stuff and I realize I forgot to buy shoes and don't have any white shoes to wear. So, rather than wearing a pair of shoes I already own or going barefoot because who's going to see under my dress, I decide to look for a Payless to get some shoes quickly.

I can't find a Payless Shoe Store. Apparently, they don't exist in Draper. I had to go to West Valley and still couldn't find a store.

And to top it all off? It started raining and was dark outside (even though it was morning) and I kept losing my car in the dark, because apparently you have to park your car to look for a Payless at a strip mall. And it wasn't just a little rain - it was a deluge - think Noah and his ark - and I couldn't remember if I told the reception center to bring everything inside and I worried that my guests were getting soaked.

Yup - there's my subconscious bringing my wedding worries to the forefront. I'll probably buy shoes tomorrow.

Why I never want to stop wedding planning:

2006-03-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

Do you realize how great an excuse wedding planning is to get out of any social obligation. "I can't go to that because we have to meet with [fill in the blank vendor]."

Someday, I'm going to have to start going to things I don't want to attend and that day is going to suck.

Four months of nightmares?

2006-01-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

So. Yesterday we found a place to get married - YAY! There's so much included in the package that I now have very little to stress about - double YAY! So how is my subconscious dealing with this new lack of stress? By giving me wedding nightmares. Last night I had two of them. Each had its own special crisis. In the first, Kenji forgot about the wedding and went to work and I had to call to remind him. In the second, I forgot to get a veil. It was strange. Ugh. Am I in for another 4 months of this?

And so it begins...

2006-01-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

There's no turning back now. I have become a Bride. I can no longer function within my job without becoming easily distracted by this beast called Wedding Planning.

Distraction #1:
For once, I was legitimately looking at Craigslist for a work-related issue (rather than my usual "check out the job market or find an apartment" search) when I noticed there was a wedding-planning discussion forum. Needless to say, I had to check it out. It was, um, interesting - but not so different from every other wedding-planning forum I've seen. Returning to the work-related issue, I was once again on Craigslist's local homepage. Under services, there's an event planning section. I clicked on the link to see what wedding related ads I could find.

I've abandoned my work-related problem. I'm just not going to find the answer today.

Distraction #2:
Scattered around my computer screen are many, many post-its (because we all know post-its are God's gift to the unorganized). There's the one with my To-Do list, two with information to do some follow-up this afternoon, one with contact numbers, my voicemail information, etc. And then there's the one with a list of reception centers (researched on my office computer with highspeed internet) and phone numbers.

Distraction #3:
One of the morning DJs on the radio station I listen to is also planning her wedding. I was late for work this morning because I was sitting in my car listening to her talk about it.

Distraction #4:
Typing this list when I have a fairly long To-Do list. It's there at the bottom of my computer screen...right next to the list of reception centers...

My first wedding-related priority problem...

2005-12-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

So, Kenji and I were talking last night. I mentioned that the two big goals for January would be to find a place to get married and to find a place to live (because our lease is almost up).
He suggested that finding a place to live is probably more important.
I'm not so sure he's right about that...

More Friday Randomness

2005-07-29T11:59:00.001-06:00

What is it about Fridays that causes me to be so incredibly random…and then feel the need to share that randomness with everyone? I think it’s a bad sign, though, that I’m beginning this particular bit of rambling before lunch…I think I’m in for a very long day.

There must be a better way to spend my day than constantly updating the local Craigslist page, reading virtually every category, hoping there will be something new…

Seriously – is leaving a voicemail message really that big a deal? I’ve been working here for several weeks now and I’m getting so tired of people’s reluctance to leave messages. I don’t want to write down the message and take it back to her desk – that’s takes work, and, quite frankly, I’m lazy. Just leave the message and she’ll call you back, OK?

Oh – and while I’m complaining about idiot callers – I didn’t give you the option to hold. You can leave a message. I don’t want to worry about your call. It’s much easier to just go into voicemail. But, then we get into that whole leaving a message thing again, don’t we. Gah – I need a real job.

YAY – Kenji just called and we’re going to have lunch together. I like days when we do that. They make me happy.

Have you ever thought about human nature? I mean really ever thought about it? You never do anything without some kind of motivation. Every little decision you make is based on some other thing. There is no such thing as a completely selfless act – you always get something out of what you are doing.

This office is very very cold…just because it’s very hot outside, it doesn’t mean we need to be 5 degrees inside.

Mmmm…coffee…

Is it just me or is this a slow week for job postings? I’ve only sent one resume this week and it seems like not nearly enough…

Do you think if I just sit here with this pile of files on my desk, people might actually think I am working?

I hate having a lot of people in my office – it makes me feel like I should actually be doing something. And that really sucks when there’s nothing to do.

Nope, nothing new at Craigslist.

Using terms such as “honey” or “sweetie” in an office is so unprofessional. You know, that really irritates me.

Busy weekend coming up…I just hope I get a *little* time to relax…I’m exhausted after last weekend’s 3 days of family and then little to no sleep during this week. I don’t need a lot of time…just a little will do fine.

Almost finished with HP#6…only like 20 pages to go. Maybe less. That’s really annoying. I think I already know all the important stuff…but it’s just knowing there are so few pages to go before finishing.

Um, as a public service announcement, just because you have a boob job (and a pretty good one at that), it doesn’t mean that everyone needs, or wants, to meet the girls.

Still nothing new at Craigslist. The Hartford and New Hampshire boards look pretty slow, too. But renting is expensive there. I knew that already, but still…

Ugh. It’s only noon and I’m ready to go home…long afternoon ahead…

Friday Afternoon Rambling

2005-07-22T15:46:00.002-06:00

Feeling jittery this afternoon...and, oddly enough, it's not due to a severe excess of coffee. I only had 2 cups and that was this morning. Many many hours ago. Though I might go get a cup now...only because it's cold in this office. Yeah that seems like a good reason to drink coffee...

So - the interview today. I wish I felt better about it. I don't feel horrible, but I just don't feel like "This job is SO mine" and I'm worried that the job isn't mine. He wants me to take some tests - apparently it's corporate policy for all employees to take the test. He said he would call to set up a time because I had to get back to work...2 hours for lunch is a bit long...especially when you're working a temp job. I would feel better if we had established a time for me to come back before I left, though. Oh well...all I can do now is sit by the phone and wait.

OK - this is bad, but I don't want my sister to visit this weekend. I want to just play and not have to worry about family obligations. Is that bad of me? I know she won't be *too* bad about the bossiness (not enough time has passed since our last argument over it - she'll still remember it), but I just don't want to deal with family at all. Ugh. Nothing I can do about it, I guess. Just grin and bear it.

Random Thoughts Inspired by Boredom

2005-07-15T16:35:00.001-06:00

Is today over yet? Good Lord - there are still 25 minutes left until I can go home.
I think I have a temporary ADD thing going on. I can't concentrate on anything. I start to read something and a few sentences in, I completely lose interest.

The coffee in my office tastes horrible, but I. Can't. Stop. Drinking. It. I'm surprised that I can sleep at night with the massive quantities of caffiene I am consuming on each day.
22 minutes left.

So, I've submitted my resume to a school. Maybe I'll luck out and get a call on it.

This story is just sick and wrong. Completely sick and wrong. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002382718_horse15m.html

Reception work totally sucks. Especially on a Friday afternoon.

I think I want this car: http://www.kslcars.com/VehicleDetail.htm?vehicleid=1961541&sellerid=23075361&vehicleType=car
It's so cute. Hopefully it will still be available when my bank finally clears the check I sent them. Hopefully the car is as cute IRL as it is online...

15 minutes.

Longest. Afternoon. Ever.

I miss my guy. Fortunately, I get to see him tomorrow and that thought makes me happy. How can one person have so much power over my happiness? It's weird - and a little scary - when you think about it. But I guess it's better to have somebody in your life who can make you happy than to have somebody who makes you sad.

How come there are so many people who can't spell? Good Lord - buy a dictionary people.

10 minutes.

I'm running out of thoughts. My brain is turning off. My goal was to just type everything that popped randomly into my head. But, nothing is popping. There's just the same phrase running through my head over and over: "Is it 5:00 yet? Is it 5:00 yet?"

I like calling my guy "my guy." I don't know why. I think about him an awful lot. Sometimes I feel bad because he occupies my thoughts so much...I feel like I *should* think about other things. But I don't. He makes me happy. Thinking of him makes me happy. I don't see any reason to stop thinking about him whenever I can.

OK - now I feel all mushy and need to stop.

6 minutes.

In 3 minutes I can start to shutdown my computer. How long does it take for a blog to post? Maybe I should start that process now. Hmmm...

Alright - it's finally time to get out of this place. To set forth in the inferno that is my city this week. Wish me luck and pray that I don't melt.

A Trip on the Wayback Machine

2003-08-22T11:21:00.001-06:00

(This is going back several years, but I was thinking about this trip the other night and remembered I had posted about it on a message board. Happy Reading.)

My Trip, Concord and Law School
Well I’ve finally arrived after my cross-country drive...and let me just say driving for seven days straight just isn’t very fun. Even though we saw some pretty cool stuff, I’m really not cut out for the driving world...the reason I wasn’t born until 1975 was so that I could fly every where I go and get there fast.

Anyway, in 8 days I was in 11 states, 2 countries and 1 province (so the countries were really cancelled out by the state/province number, but it sounds cooler this way). For someone from the west where it takes usually at least 2 or 3 hours just to leave the state, that’s a LOT.

So, here’s the rundown on what I thought of each state/province as I drove through...

Utah: OK, this was really just the starting point, but getting up over Parley’s Summit (a few of you will know how steep that is) in a loaded car was a bit difficult but we did it. (Can I just tell you how very loaded my car was? Crazy - barely room for me and my friend to sit!)

Wyoming: All I can say about Wyoming is that it’s UGLY and really, do you need to re-do *every* road at the SAME time? C’mon leave a few roads construction-zone-free.

A little anecdote about WY. Shortly after we entered the state (so maybe only 2 or 3 hours into the drive) a HUGE blown out tire hit the hood of my car. Fortunately, the tired skidded across the top (there are rubber marks on my hood now and a dent....grrr) and went off the side instead of into my windshield. Now before you start saying “well, why didn’t you just go around it?” I have to tell you that I couldn’t go around it. The car in front of me ran over the top of it (tore his bumper half off), so the tire was in motion when I got to it...grrr. I really thought this was a bad omen for the trip, but things eventually straightened out and it was a nice trip.

South Dakota: Saw Mt Rushmore, but since I worked there a few years ago (in 1995), I was more interested in seeing the changes in the concession/gift shop area...there were vast changes in these areas.

Additionally, if you ever need to get to get your break pads replaced while on a cross-country trip, Chamberlain, SD is a great place to do it. The town is small (only about 2000 people) and it sits on the bank of the Missouri river. The people are incredibly friendly - as is often the case in small towns and it’s just nice to walk around while you wait for the nice mechanic to work on your car. I told my parents they should retire there...it’s just a really pretty, friendly town.

One note I should make here is that we were really starting to notice how much greener the rest of the country is in comparison to Utah. It’s very dry this year in Utah and it’s a desert there. The combination is deadly for any naturally occurring green. So, it was about the 3rd day (after leaving Chamberlain) that I noticed that even the *weeds* were green. This is just not the case any where I have lived...at least not in August. Everything has dried up and turned brown. So, imagine my surprise when I realized the green stuff growing between the freeways wasn’t planted and maintained...it was Mother Nature doing her job. Really a very surprising thing.

Also, as you drop in elevation, the air becomes more oxygen-rich...it’s just a lot thicker than at higher elevations. It’s usually not naturally noticeable until you exert yourself, but if you pay attention to it, you notice. I kept making a stupid joke that if I took a deep breath, I’d get dizzy from all the oxygen going to my brain (I said it was stupid). While that’s an exaggeration, we did notice that we didn’t yawn as frequently...just taking the deep breath before the yawn was enough to get the oxygen in.

So on we go...

Iowa: Lots of corn. That’s about all I can say for Iowa scenery. This is where the speed limits dropped to a 55/65 combination instead of the 65/75 that I am accustomed to. Really, 75 isn’t *that* fast.

We crossed the Mississippi River in Iowa. It’s quite dirty. I had only seen it once before, but my friend had never seen it. Really it’s not a pretty river. But, it is interesting to think “If it’s this wide here in Iowa, how much wider is it down at the bottom in Louisiana after all those other rivers have joined it?” Size is the only redeeming quality to the Mississippi River, I think.

Illinois: More corn. But I got to see Karen and Charlie (well, I sort of saw Charlie). I got my first ever look at Chicago. I have been in other large cities...but I don’t think any quite this big. The fact that there were so many tall buildings so close together just amazed me. Do I sound like someone who has lived a very sheltered life in a small town? That’s how I felt...and even though I’ve been to other places visiting or even living, the small town girl in me really came out in Chicago. I felt very small and insignificant. I’m better now. Thank you to Karen and Chuck for showing us around and taking us for Chicago pizza - yummy.

Indiana: I was only here for about 45 minutes, maybe an hour. Not really long enough to get a feel for the state. It did seem like we were getting more trees the further East we went, though...

Michigan: I don’t think they sell a lot of Saturns in Michigan, at least not that I saw. I felt kind of out of place in my cute little car. We went through Michigan so quickly that I can’t really say what it was like. Not that much different from what we had seen before...a little less corn, a bit more hilly, fairly green. Unfortunately, the number I had for Margaret was not working (must have copied it down wrong) so we didn’t get to meet her. It’s probably OK since we were supposed to have lunch and we didn’t get to Ann Arbor until nearly 4...but we did eat lunch there.

Ontario: OK, crossing the border into Canada proved to be not *too* difficult. He checked our ID’s and asked about the stuff in the car. He checked the acceptance letter to the school and then let us go. Really not too hard. As for the scenery in Ontario, really it’s the same as Michigan. There just isn’t very much change in these areas. At least not that I noticed.

We saw Niagara Falls before leaving Ontario (thus the reason for going into Canada in the first place) and it is truly awe-inspiring. I was just amazed at the sight. We joked that there was more water in those falls than in the entire state of Utah - and I really don’t think it was much of an exaggeration. Seriously, I can’t even describe what Niagara was like.

New York: Upstate NY is a lot prettier than I expected it to be...so green and lush. The forest is just so dense. It’s amazing to someone from the desert. I was in awe.

Now, if you’re going to be staying in upstate NY, I don’t suggest doing it when there is a MAJOR power outage every where. Driving becomes an adventure, as does finding a hotel. Fortunately, we were across the US border (that guy knew how to ask the questions...he scared me...thought I was going to pee my pants) before the outage began. But, not much before - we teased that it was us who did it. We did encounter one traffic light that was out shortly across the border, but that was it until we got off the freeway in Syracuse. Since we hadn’t been listening to the radio (just to CD’s - Harry Potter), we didn’t know what was going on. We were a bit confused when we got into town and none of the traffic lights were working. So, that’s when I turned on the radio and learned what was going on. Apparently there was *one* power grid in the entire city that was still working, and it fortunately had a lot of hotels in it. So, we found one and then went to dinner. Because there was no power anywhere, many people went to dinner. In all, we spent about 2 hours or so at Denny’s...that includes eating. I was actually very impressed with how efficient this staff was. They had called in people who had the evening off to come in and work...a district manager and/or area manager was doing the cooking. The restaurant manager was bussing tables. It was crazy busy. They made a killing that night. I just feel bad for all the restaurants who couldn’t stay open and lost all the money from that night.

When I called my mom to let her know that I had found a hotel with power, she didn’t really care. Her only concern was whether or not I had seen Niagara Falls that day...she wanted to make sure the power outage hadn’t affected my sight-seeing. It didn’t matter whether or not I had a place to stay and eat...oh, no, only that I had seen a bunch of water falling over a cliff. Silly mommy.

Vermont: So, after leaving NY, you come into Vermont. It’s very pretty as well. We weren’t there very long, either. Maybe a couple of hours. We did eat in Vermont, but just at McDonald’s (this was the last day of driving - we just wanted to be there). More commenting on how pretty it is...how dense the forests are...the sheer number of trees...the hills and how they differ from the Rocky Mountains (the Rockies are more jagged, while it’s more rounded and smooth in the East)...

New Hampshire: Yes, the destination place. A lot like Vermont. Driving in New England is very different from driving in Utah...or probably in the west. Here, there is not a pretty grid-system to the streets. They just kind of go wherever they want. I have been lost more in the past few days than ever before in my life. I’m finally learning my way around Concord though...just a few more days and I’ll be OK.

Massachusetts: Before my friend flew back to SLC, we decided to see a bit of the East. So, we drove down to Salem, Mass. Driving there was very, very confusing. I became incredibly frustrated at times. But, it was worth it. I think if you’re ever in Boston, everyone should visit Salem. I plan to go back. The history there is amazing...and it’s more than the witch trials. Very cool place to visit. But, make sure you go with someone who knows the area. Trying to find Salem, then trying to find a hotel for my friend (her flight left Boston early in the morning) meant that I drove more in the Boston area than I had planned...though I never got into Boston proper (I was in Lynnfield, Peabody, Salem and Danvers, for those who know the area).

So, that’s the trip for you all. I’ve now been hanging out in Concord for nearly a week, and I think I’m finally figuring it out. I no longer get lost every time I leave the house. The places I can find without getting lost: the nearest gas station, the school, the mall, Boston Market, Wal-Mart, Target, Shaw’s (grocery store), the post office, a few bars, and that’s about it. What you all don’t know is that everything I mentioned except the gas station, the school and the bars are on the same road and I discovered it my first night - it’s a big shopping area in town and it’s hard to miss. I no longer get lost coming home - I really had a hard time figuring out where my house was at in relation to the city, but I’ve finally figured that out.

My initial impressions of Concord was that it is bigger than it actually is. I thought the main street was forever long. I’ve since figured out that this city is very, very small. My understanding of the police officers of the area is that they really don’t have much to do so they are really strict on traffic violations. I was driving down the big road mentioned above and a minivan had been pulled over...there were THREE cop cars behind her and I saw another one on its way there further down the road. C’mon people...it’s a minor traffic violation - does *every* police officer in town really need to be there? There are several places where you can’t turn right except when you have the green, and that’s confusing me now - I never know where I can actually turn. Eventually I’ll get the hang of that though. I get all freaked out - afraid that I’m going to unknowingly do something wrong and get a ticket for it. Hopefully my Utah license plates will help me in such a situation.

Beyond the driving, I think I’m going to enjoy living in Concord. The people are very nice and it’s a pretty good size - not too big, but large enough to support and provide entertainment for a law school.

And, now we come to law school. After three days of orientation, I think it’s going to be good. My school is very small - there are only 160 students in my class, and it’s the largest class they’ve had so far (which is typical of most law schools this year). The first morning I really felt like I did as a freshman - not knowing where to go or what to do and just being inundated with information...and it’s all information that doesn’t start to make sense until you’ve actually been in school for a while. For some reason, I’ve been meeting a lot of the second-year students (2Ls in common law school lingo) instead of the 1Ls...but I’m sure I’ll be meeting everyone in time...it’s so small that it’s hard to not know everyone. This law school is actually smaller than my high school was, and I went to a very small HS.

I can’t say very much about what law school is like. We’ve only actually had a couple of classes - and they were more introductory than anything. I think I’m going to enjoy it though - especially in the classes where the teacher encourages debate among the students...I love that kind of learning. I already have thousands of pages of homework to read, and I don’t think I’ll enjoy that part of it...but all the 2L’s say that by the end of the semester I’ll be reading very quickly, and briefing cases will become second nature. Let’s all hope they are right...